Best Answer – Chosen by Voters
- If one is truly repentant, they will be forgiven and still have the opportunity to see the gates of Heaven. It is possible for one to be a homosexual and still honor God. It is just a matter of self control and relying on the strength of the Savior and the Father.
The sin lies in the act of homosexuality itself. So, if one is a homosexual but never engages in the act, then there is no sin. Therefore, no need to repent. The same is for bisexuals, men or women. If they are having thoughts of homosexuality, they can always turn to God and seek His help and forgiveness, if they so choose. I think this is a largely misunderstood issue. From what I believe to be true, it is the sin that is hated, rather than the sinner. God loves all His children, regardless of their sexual preferences.
Let me get this straight then, as long as you don’t same sex do it—you’re okay….riiighht. Let’s try that again. Take two.
Q: I pretty much think I’m bisexual…but that heavily conflicts with my religion. And also, my family would hate me if I was. I don’t know what to do. Will I burn in hell?
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters
- I understand the conflict between sexuality and religion and know how difficult it is to want to be yourself in both of these aspects of your life. You can be both religious and bisexual.
- Are you a Christian? Since you hadn’t stated otherwise, I’ll base this particular response on Christianity. Jesus never said anything about homosexual behavior, but preached of love and acceptance. Although there are a few passages about sexual morality, keep in mind that the bible condemns all types of behaviors such as touching pig skin (ever play football?) or wearing clothes made of more than one material (uh oh, does this cotton and polyester shirt mean I’m going to hell?). Even if sexuality is a sin, in God’s eyes, all sin is the same, and as per John 3:16, you will be saved (no burning in hell). I firmly believe that we are born with the sexuality we have, and do you as a religious person believe that God would have created you to go to hell? No. The United and Evangelical Churches are supportive of homosexual lifestyles (and bisexual) so if you’re finding that you’re ostracized in your church, you may find refuge there.
- You won’t burn in Hell. (Many religions say there’s no such thing. I believe that God is just and wouldn’t damn people for their temptations.) Still, if having gay sex conflicts with your (deeply held religion), why don’t you just stick to hetero sex (you did say you were bi).
- You have to bear in open mind that the books of The Bible were written by authors—and even then, were later REVISED by a tyrannical ruler ( King James ). It’s safe to then logically say that the written issues on sexuality involving homosexuality and/or bisexuality are THEIR interpretation of what God’s opinion are of those subjects.
- Therefore, many of religion’s moral taboos of society are voiced as OPINION as being God’s will—we don’t really know what God’s stand on homosexuality / bisexuality is any more than we know what ascribed religious faith is the right one to adopt. So we have to go w/ our heart on that one.
Okay, so I’m more or less feeling better about these answers. Interesting what peoples opinions are don’t you think?
Speaking of interesting, I said a while back when I first introduced our biromantic asexual contact (that’s a bisexual person who while desires love, affection, and relationship gratification from either gender, they do not have a physical desire of interest in sexual activities, whatsoever—for those of you new here), that she’d be back and yet again here she is. Because she is in fact bisexual and asexual I wanted to include her thoughts on the bisexual but not having sex conversation. Because well, she’s an admitted bisexual who (as of now) also hasn’t had same sex sex either (she has a preference for men in general).
She brought to my attention a blog that she really loves, http://thereisnocloset.blogspot.com/, and even though the blogger is asexual but not bisexual as well, she relates to a lot of what is said there. And an interesting article she recently read. Included are some of her favorite selected passages with her (purple) sidebar commentary.
(from the blog)
I relate to this because half way because I don’t have a connection per say that the act of this behavior alone means “I’m with” someone. Yet, I wouldn’t do that with someone if I wasn’t with them. But at the same time I don’t have to do that at all with someone, to feel that I’m pair-bonded. Not required. Cheating is still cheating though! Unless we have an agreement…
And my body doesn’t inherently tell me that touching one person in this particular way now signifies that we are exclusively pair-bonded, and that if I were to touch another person in that way, it would signify some kind of betrayal.
This is what being an affection-al asexual is all about J. We want the mental connection, the hugs the kisses. Just not the other junk-lol.
Need for meaningful, intimate emotional and spiritual connection. This is my primary need in relationships and what comes up the most.
I’m not particular about who I have that with – I can have it with anyone who shows themselves to be willing, open and capable of intimacy and radical honesty, even if we have differing opinions or interests or are at different points in our life paths. I don’t care.
Give me truthfulness and transparency any day, and I will be irresistibly drawn to it. That’s my ultimate passionate attraction. There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing and knowing each other as we are.
Need for intimate loving touch. I experience a lot of that, and do desire and crave it as a physical, visceral, most immediate expression of trust, closeness and affection. I’m often frustrated and feel blocked because the kind of physical closeness I would enjoy with my dear ones is normally socially sanctioned only within relationships that are romantic and sexual.
How this is phrased is just brilliant. Being asexual isn’t fun, and to make relationships work—especially since there are more sexuals to go around. But in general I like the mentality of relationship exploration without the sexual complications, and not just because I’m asexual. Maybe that’s because I’m Christian and this whole concept it seems like most have adoption of sexual intimacy before mental intimacy.
Fact is, if by a fluke of fate you find yourself asexual, it means you just set yourself up for MORE exploration of “relationship” rather than less.
That’s right, you can’t sustainably use the “asexual” label as a way to avoid having to deal with people because you just can’t handle them. Because your label is going to be continually challenged and disbelieved and suspected.
In the same way that my bisexuality doesn’t define me as a whole person, they’re just faucets of the complete me. Accepting that this is apart of who I am as a person and living my life accordingly and naturally—to me, is all I can do.
Does everyone who is trying to romance you necessarily have to know that you identify as asexual? I don’t think so.
There’s someone who is really, really in love with me right now, and since I’m living the crazy experiment of not knowing and not defining my relationships inside the friendship/romance dichotomy, so I’m living from a place where nothing HAS TO happen, I’m allowing myself to simply enjoy his company and enjoy as much physical affection from him as I like without having it have to mean anything.
At the same time I’m also being super attentive to myself and clearly knowing what I do and don’t want, and communicating my boundaries. I’m allowing this powerful intense energy to flow towards me from him, while knowing where I stand, and allowing any response that arises in me, to happen. Even allowing for the possibility that if at any point the unlikely impulse comes to have sex with him, I will.
Everything is so much easier when I no longer tell myself that I have to resist or fight anything, or on the other hand that I have to follow and fall in and reciprocate. Just doing what comes naturally. I’ve let go of a lot of guilt there. As long as I was telling myself that I should be a certain way, there was plenty of discomfort. Now I allow myself to feel anything that is felt in the moment, and it’s great to have that validation in real time from within my own body that no, I don’t actually want that.
You are strongest when you don’t have to convince anyone. When they tell you how much they want to be with you, can you, instead of wincing and trying to get away, just look them straight in the eye, feel what’s going on for you right then and there, and express it?
I guess the assumption many people on the outside make, is that being religious and believing you should not have sex much, makes people asexual… But in reality it seems rather the other way around.
(from the online article)
http://www.robynochs.com/writing/essays/whats_in_a_name.html
It’s so not a 50/50 thing. I know I don’t date a guy and then think okay now its time for a woman. Then back and forth. Oh no…
The word bisexual itself can be problematic. Many people struggling to understand bisexuality can only imagine the concept of bisexuality as a 50/50 identity. In their minds, if a third category exists, it must fall midway between the other two. They struggle to fix bisexuals in the middle of the scale, further assuming that if bisexuality is a 50/50 identity, there are very few “true” bisexuals.
Therefore, it is not surprising that some bisexual women experience bisexual desire as more a burden than a gift (Bower, Gurevich, & Mathieson, 2002). To avoid internal and external conflict, they may feel a pressure or a wish to choose heterosexuality or homosexuality. Many desire the ease they imagine would come with having one clear, fixed, socially acceptable identity.
Some women have difficulty identifying as bi because they have not yet been in a relationship with a woman (or with a man, or with either). There are many women who have a history of relationships with people of one sex, but who have fallen in love (or in lust) at some point with someone of the unexpected sex. Often, this is perceived as an isolated event unlikely to be repeated.
In the words of one respondent: “As for sex, well, I’m certainly attracted to male people a lot more often than female people, which is one reason not to call myself bisexual—it seems misleading. … I don’t feel right calling myself ‘bisexual’ when I haven’t *had sex* with someone female.” Another wrote: “I’m not sure I have a right to call myself bisexual. Most of my attractions are toward women.”
That’s exactly how I used to feel for a long time actually. Being asexual kinda messes with everything! Its all about understanding who you are.
Some women have difficulty identifying as bi because they have not yet been in a relationship with a woman (or with a man, or with either). There are many women who have a history of relationships with people of one sex, but who have fallen in love (or in lust) at some point with someone of the unexpected sex.
Often, this is perceived as an isolated event unlikely to be repeated. In the words of one respondent: “As for sex, well, I’m certainly attracted to male people a lot more often than female people, which is one reason not to call myself bisexual—it seems misleading. … I don’t feel right calling myself ‘bisexual’ when I haven’t *had sex* with someone female.” Another wrote: “I’m not sure I have a right to call myself bisexual. Most of my attractions are toward women.”
Others said that bisexual identity was broad enough to encompass all of their experience: One woman wrote, “Bisexual identity is flexible enough to encompass variations in my past, present and future, without pretending that some relationships were authentic and others weren’t.”
Another wrote, “…rather than seeing myself as half-lesbian and half-straight, I feel like all of me is attracted to women, and all of me is attracted to men. There is no lesbian half and no straight half. I am a third category that contains the first two but is wholly different, and that is bisexual.”
I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge in myself the capacity to be attracted to and sexual with people of more than one sex, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree. It is clear to me that I was bisexual long before I ever “acted on it,” just as a person who has never had sex can be lesbian or straight.
After all, identity is not only about behavior. It is also about what we feel inside. A woman can be bisexual even if she never ends up acting on it, or even if—like me—she is in a monogamous relationship that she expects will last the rest of her life.
So to be or not to be? Bisexual and having same-sex sex? Being a Christian bisexual and having same-sex sex? Being Christian, bisexual and asexual? To be or not, regardless, its about being yourself and following your instincts and heart.
–posted by Maddie Banks
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Filed under: Maddie Banks, bi-sexual , bisexual asexual, bisexual christian, bisexual women, no same-sex sex
